The irony of giving Thanks

We’ve all seen it. November 1^st comes around and we immediately do the 30 day challenge of giving Thanks. We are oh so thankful for many things, the little things, even the things we do not have because somehow we’ve managed to come to our senses, that if we don’t have it, it’s simply not the right time. And what is mindboggling is that we actually accept it, we are content with what we have. We are so passive and warm spirited, so happy and cheerful- we’re thankful.

Thanksgiving comes around and we are beyond grateful to God for our families, our friends, our homes, our jobs, we are thankful that we are able to put food on our table. We even pray for the homeless and those who do not have a piece of bread to eat. We are so considerate; some even invite people over who have no families- “aw, we feel bad, let’s invite them, honey” so we say. We have a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner. We eat, we laugh, we eat more, we watch TV, we eat, we play games, we eat some more, we talk some more. After everyone has left the house, we secure some left-overs for the next day; we put our game face on; it’s BLACK FRIDAY- how are we going to tackle this madness.

 

Now, please DO NOT misunderstand me, I am in no way, shape or form saying you shouldn’t go Black Friday shopping, of course there are great deals out there and if you’re patient enough to wait in the long lines- then by all means, that day was meant for you. If you can get a buck or two off on an item that you’ve been eying, then go for it- Christmas is around the corner. BUT it infuriates me to see how people go to extreme measures to get THAT one item; trampling over people, hurting them and even causing death over an item?!?! Are you serious??? What are the odds?

This is the irony of giving Thanks- one moment we are thankful, the next we are savages. Did you not say a couple hours ago- how thankful you were??? C’mon people. It’s so sad and ridiculous to see the videos surfacing online, to read stories of sales people dying, other people getting seriously hurt over an X-box or a TV. What are we doing with ourselves? What monsters are we creating? What our children see today, they will emulate tomorrow. Is that the kind of example we want them to have? Let’s think about it, for real.

We want to give our family and friends the best Christmas gift ever, I get that. But you won’t be giving them much if you’re behind bars, or if you’re at the hospital or if you’re six feet under. Is it really worth it? Really? Is it worth it? Black Friday is a huge phenomenon and it’s not going anywhere so if you’re a Black Friday regular, continue to shop and get great deals but be conscious of your surroundings- you may not be the crazy one, but there are a lot of them around you that are willing to fight for that video game; be prepared to handle the situation in a mature and adult manner. Other options to avoid Black Friday is to either take advantage of Cyber Monday or just work a little harder and longer for what you really want to purchase. Do lay-aways, save your money toward that particular product; trust me, there are other options that will not cost you your peace of mind or your arms, or your legs, or a hospital bill or funeral arrangements.

Are we truly thankful for what we have? Think about it because actions speak louder than any Thanksgiving prayer.

Be Encouraged, Be Blessed!

Landy Perez-Feliciano ♥

 

Just a little tighter

While I was in NYC this past weekend, I came across the news that two of our beloved church members, one of them being a family member of mine had passed away. This has been a rough week, having to go to two back to back funerals has not been easy. And to have to find out in last night’s funeral that another beloved church member passed is just heart breaking. Our church family is definitely mourning these wonderful people who will be terribly missed.

In the mist of grief, I can’t help but to hold on to my loved ones just a little tighter, hug them just a little tighter, kiss them just a little tighter. Situations such as this, definitely puts everything into perspective and helps you prioritize your life a little better. Questions such as: What’s really important? Should I be dwelling, breaking a sweat, consuming my time and energy on this, that and the other? What is really important in life is my question to you today.

 

For me: God, Family, and Friends. Having a constant relationship with my Lord and Savior who assures that His peace surpasses all understanding and that no matter what whirlwind of emotions may be rushing towards me- He is my peace! My family is my core, support group. They keep me grounded and show unconditional love. We all need family because family sticks with you in good times and in bad and no one will be as loving and accepting as your family. Friends keep me happy, free spirited and alive. True friendship is hard to find but when you have a group of people who you can call friends, you feel on top of the world. With God in your life, you are able to experience true joy and happiness despite what your current situation may look like.

Today, I want to encourage you to think about what’s important in your life? Maybe you think your career is the most important thing right now, maybe its school or even trying to reach your dreams. Those are all good and I often speak about being assertive and chase after your dreams but make sure the main ingredients are always present: God, Family, Friends. It’s very sad to reach a level of success or “happiness” if you have nobody to share it with. It’s heartbreaking when you’re going through a storm in your life and you have nobody to turn too. We should never feel alone; celebrate with people, mourn with people.

What do your priorities look like? Who or what is on top? If it doesn’t look like this: God, Family and Friends then it’s time to make some changes. Tonight when you see your husband and kids, hug and kiss just a little tighter. If your parents are alive, that is a blessing in itself, tell them how much you love them and give them the biggest squeeze ever! Tell your siblings how much of a pain in the butt they are but that you wouldn’t trade it for the world! Send your friends a quick message saying how much you appreciate their crazy friendships. Tell God how much you love Him! Tell the whole world how love should abound and hate – well… get out!

Life is too short, I know we have all heard that and it’s become pretty cliché but when death hits home, it brings a whole different meaning. Cherish your loved ones. We are here today and gone tomorrow. James 4:14 says” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.”  Lets make the best out of the gift of life that has been given to us; it’s time to appreciate it instead of always complaining about it. Let’s encourage and inspire those around us and may our legacy continue to live even after we have left this world.

Be Blessed, Be Encouraged!

Landy Perez-Feliciano ♥

Happiness is an inside job

I would like to express my appreciation to Landy for allowing me this great opportunity to be a guest blogger.  Also to congratulate her on the great achievement that is writing her book.  I am a fan of her writing.

 I would like to write about “Happiness is an inside job.”

 

I have learned that the road to happiness is not something you seek; it’s something that you choose in spite of the circumstances.   

The more you look for ways to make yourself happy, the longer the detour.  Seeking happiness is a dead end street. No “one” thing on earth can give it.  It is only through God and through making a daily decision to be happy, that it can achieved. 

Last year, I experienced depression for the first time in my life.  This happened after many months of horrific events, constant stress and on top of that, the death of my brother.  I reached a breaking point where being or staying strong wasn’t an option.  I cried all the time, could barely get out of bed, had to force myself to eat and could barely sleep.  Hours turned to days, days to weeks & weeks to months. I was desperate, I wanted to be myself; I missed me.  If there is  one lesson I learned from that experience is never to tell anyone that is going thru something like that  “get over it” because as much as I tried, I couldn’t.  I did absolutely everything I knew to do, pray, read the bible, hear sermons, and meditate day & night. I mean it! Everything except VOODOO!!!! LOL

This is a time when only your true friends remain and your family becomes your life lines.  Because the recovery requires so much support and understanding; you must surround yourself with people who believe you will get better. My husband became more than a husband, he became my hero.  He didn’t believe for one minute that I would stay in that turmoil.  He constantly encouraged and loved me in the midst of this dark time. I never felt rushed, misunderstood, or as if I was a burden to him.  He loved me thru it. My sisters, nieces and nephews were my life lines; I drew what little strength I could muster from them.  They never left me; I felt their love and support all the way thru. 

 

I wish I could tell you I used a magic wand to get better but I can’t. It took hard work, time and persistence.  I was determined to get better.  How did I do it? I allowed myself time to heal, I rested, and I started to exercise, just walking at first.  But probably the most helpful was talking; talking to my family and good friends. I went to a Christian counselor that helped me put things into perspective.  Slowly but surely I began to feel better.  Because my depression had passed the three month mark, my counselor recommended meds.  As apprehensive as I was to taking them, I was desperate; my kids needed me, I could not remain in this state. For the sake of myself and my family, I was willing to do whatever it took.  Within a week or two I began to see color again.  I felt as if a tiny window had opened up inside my dark place from which a ray of sunshine was peeking through. That’s when my journey to wellness began. I won’t tell you I don’t have bad days, because I do.  But they are rare and far in between.  I choose happiness, joy, and peace every morning. And yes there are days when every one of those is tested and I fail miserably, but I pick up again the next day. 

 

Your road to wellness might be completely different than mine, everyone has their own path.  But the one thing we must all do is, persevere.  Do whatever it takes to get better. We have to realize that we are not the only ones being affected. Our kids, our families, the people who love us, are all affected. The longer you wait to seek help, the more precious time you lose with those you love.  Those months felt like a lifetime to me; don’t waste another minute of your life being unhappy. 

 

That is not the life God intended for us to have;

He came so that we may have life and have it more abundantly.

Remember, Happiness is an inside job!

For more information about Millie Perez Gonzalez and her writings,
visit her blog at: http://fourgirlsandalady.blogspot.com/

 

  

Left behind?

This past weekend was such a huge blessing for my life and family; and I’m sure for everyone who attended the Pastors and Leadership Conference led by Bishop TD Jakes.  No Church Left Behind was the theme and we were equipped with resources and empowered with knowledge and geared up to come back home and make a difference in our churches and communities. 

One of the things that I loved about this year’s conference is that they really took you back to school! There were a series of courses that you could elect to go to anywhere from church government, music ministries, church technology, funding opportunities, marketing, entrepreneurship; you name it, it was available!! I personally had a difficult time choosing which 4 courses I wanted to pick (if it were up to me, I’d go to all of them) but a decision had to be made and these were my choices.

1.       Creative Strategies in Marketing (Tony Scott)

2.       The Entrepreneur in You! (Darwin Bruce)

3.       The ABC’s of Self-Publishing and Traditional Publishing (Joel D. Nori)

4.       Funding for Faith-based: The Power of the 501c3 (Aretha Olivarez)

These courses opened my eyes to see a whole new world of opportunities, the wealth of information that was delivered was truly life-changing. Every one of the speakers are inspiring to me because if they were able to reach the level of success  that they have as Christian, men and woman who love God and put Him first in everything; that’s shows me that I too can reach that.  The bible says, seek Him first and ALL things, everything shall be added on to you.  You can be Christian and be successful and I was able to witness it up close and personal this past weekend. 

I encourage everyone who reads this today that you too can work hard and reach your goals, whatever they may be.  They can be spiritual goals, ministry goals, business goals or maybe just personal goals; you too can reach them.  I can do, WE can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13) Need strength, wisdom, guidance, favor, ask for it!! It is available and at your disposal. We are about to say goodbye to April and enter into a new month, May.  Get to work!! Don’t waste any more time, whatever you have been called to do, DO IT!! We do not want any church to be left behind, we don’t want any families to be left behind, and we don’t want any person left behind.  Make your dreams come true; one step at a time; one day at a time.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Anyone hungry? Let’s start chewing!!

Be encouraged, Be Blessed!
Landy Perez-Feliciano

Empty Nest

Our family will be celebrating an important event tomorrow afternoon, my little (not so little) baby brother will be getting married!!!

It's still hard to believe that Ronny, the baby of the family is all grown up and will be embarking on a whole new journey will his lovely wife to be, Elissia. I am so proud of the man he has become and I know he will be a wonderful husband and the coolest dad (someday). 

I know that tomorrow will be a day full of different types of emotions (Kleenex please!) Our friends and family along with our church will be celebrating their union as man and wife.  There will be a lot of tears (of course, it's Papa we're talking about.. 96% of the church saw him in diapers..) there will be laughter, happiness, joy but especially, the family (my parents specifically) will be experimenting the "empty nest"... again! And although, it will be tough, but I know that my parents and our family as a whole is so happy to formally welcome Elissia into our family.  She makes my brother complete, brings out the best in him and makes him happy and that is all we ever wanted for him, happiness!

So, as I write these lines, I think back at our childhood together and how much fun we had growing up together, laughing, crying, playing pranks on each other, fighting... etc.. the joys of having a sibling.  And something my sister and I always tell him is that He will never be too grown for us, we will always be his big sisters (in age.. obviously not in height) and we will always love him, give him an earful, pinch him, punch him, hit him.. in other words, he will still endure all of the sisterly abuse he endured during his childhood.  His wife will see that things have not changed one bit in our relationship as siblings and they will never change because we have a special, unique, weird bond that only we understand!! Lol

Ronny, I want to tell you that I love you so much, you are the BEST brother anyone could have, although you are the youngest, many times you acted as the oldest because your young years are full of wisdom. I know that God will continue to bless you and your new family in this new chapter of your life.

God Bless you baby brother! xoxo

Landy Perez-Feliciano ♥

Secrets of a Song

This past Saturday the couples of my church hosted a marriage conference with Dr. David E. Clarke. He is a Christian psychologist, popular speaker, and successful author and through his Bible-based teaching and therapy he guides people toward healthy lives, marriages, and families. It was such a blessing to have him speak at this event, I know that everyone who there was empowered, motivated and determined to maintain their marriage as healthy and strong as possible.
Living in a society where marriage is not valued and quite frankly; where couples are not willing to fight for their union, makes it that much tougher to go against the current and not become another statistic.  That is why, I am thankful for our Young Couple & Marriage pastors: Ramon and Yudy Nina for constantly bringing great resources to the church that will strengthen relationships of marriages and couples.  We are Pro-Marriage and believe the sanctity of it and value the importance of Family.

The title of the conference was Secrets of a Song and Dr. David Clarke based his teaching on the book of Songs of Solomon. I encourage you to read this book from the Bible, its the greatest love story ever told.  Dr. Clarke was speaking about how to maintain the passion in your marriage forever.  It is often said that after being married for years, having kids, busy schedules, its hard to keep the passion in a relationship.  Why is that?  Because you're so focused on the kids, your work, household chores and a million other things, that your partner is put on the backburner and this becomes a routine that must be broken.

I want to share with you what Dr. Clarke shared with us, which is: Three practical ways to maintain passion in your marriage forever. 

Passion Principles:

1. MEN: Listen to you woman! We all know women love to talk, right?  Well, men it is important that you listen to your wife, even if you're not interested.  If it is important to her, it should be important to you too.  [Songs of Solomon 2:14] Solomon took time to listen to his lady.  Fellas, take time to listen to your lady.  Dr. Clarke recommends to take private time for your wife, take four days a week for atleast 30 minutes.  No kids, no pets, no tv, no phone And I'll add, No Facebook or Twitter!  Just you and her.  Take advantage of that alone time to talk and to listen to what she wants to say.  She will appreciate it.

2.  WOMEN: Compliment your husband frequently, all the time, always.
[Songs of Solomon 5:10] Solomon's wife complimens him all the time, he feels loved, respected and passion for his wife.  She compliments him physically and also his character. 
Women, compliment your husbands.  It is important for a man to believe that he is special and impressive.

3.  Pray Together:  The secret to a never-ending passion is in Songs of Solomon 8:6,7
The source is the Lord! It's by putting and maintaining God in the center of the marriage.  Pray together as a couple on a regular basis, it will strengthen your bond together as a couple.

We were so blessed to hear this word and although I've been married for less than two years, I know these principles will be helpful to me as it will be to those who are married for 3 months or 30 years.  There is always something to be learned.  Obviously, Dr. Clarke spoke about a lot of other things, I cannot cram two hours worth of information into a blog but I do recommend you to purchase his books.  He is the author of nine books, I purchased three books: Parenting Isn't for Superheroes (for when I have kids), A Marriage After God's Own Heart (it is important to keep God in the marriage), and Kiss Me Like You Mean It (which is the book he was promoting for this conference).  Check out his website for much more information about his work, www.DavidClarkeSeminars.com

I hope this information has blessed and encouraged you to keep the fire burning and the passion in your marriage.  It's never too late to take a step forward in your relationship, as long as both of you are willing to work at it and God is in the mix, all things are possible.

Landy Perez-Feliciano ♥